Unshed Tears of Scarlet
by PegasusAcc
Summary: When Heero suddenly arrives at Trowa's appartment in the middle of the night, he and Trowa depart for a final mission. But Trowa has things he's not too sure he's ready to leave behind-


The hall was dark and shadows lay draped across the walls like tapestries. Stealthily he crept along, not a single creak emitting from the carpeted floorboards. His heart raced with anticipation, palms slick with perspiration, breath ragged and choppy. His icy stare darted around the different doors, searching…searching keenly for the correct one.

__

Where? His mind demanded, slamming against the insides of his skull. _Where is it?_

Finally his gaze rested upon the golden lettering, the words _Une-Barton_ _Residence _still legible in the dark hours. He swallowed hard, his throat parched and lips cracked. Raising his fist hesitantly, he knocked gently on the massive green door.

Trowa moaned, the soft knock on his apartment door waking him from a wonderful dream. He turned over, nestling closer to his fiancée's warm figure. Slowly he drifted back to sleep before another series of rapping woke him again. Peering at the luminescent alarm clock that lay on the bedside table, a growl rose in the back of his throat. _2:30 A.M. _blinked back mockingly. Reluctantly he pulled himself out of bed, despite Midii's desperate pleas for him to stay.

"I'll be back in bed as soon as I can," he promised, kissing her lightly on the forehead. She smiled sleepily, making her appear even more angelic then usual.

Throwing on an old cotton shirt he headed drowsily for the door. Unlocking the deadbolt but keeping the chain securely fastened he opened the door.

"Heero? What the hell…?" he asked, dazed and still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "It's 2:30 in the morning." He stared into the pilot's eyes, a feeling of sickness washing over his fatigued body. For a moment, Heero's hardened gaze shifted to pure panic, before reverting back to their normal, apathetic state. He could see his face muscles tighten and his jaw clench, as if trying to hold back the words that hung on the tip of his tongue. "Heero…?"

"You have to help me," he spoke finally, his voice wavering ever so slightly from its monotone pitch. "There's no one else I can turn to. You're the only one I can trust." Trowa continued to stare at him nervously. Slowly he moved to undo the chain that hung on the inside of the door.

"What's wrong? What do you need?" Heero stepped inside the now open doorway and with all seriousness whispered:

"I have one last mission I need to fulfill. I want you to come along with me. I need someone to return me to sanity, should I succumb to madness."

Unshed Tears of Scarlet

By: PegasusAcc

I could feel her gaze drilling into my back as I packed. She shuffled anxiously on the bed, the sheets ruffling under her body.

"You promised me you wouldn't be going on anymore missions like this," she whispered. Her voice was soft yet strong, reminding me painfully of my promise. I turned toward her, expressionless, took the shirt from the bedpost and put it folded into my bag. I didn't want to meet her gaze; it was hard like ice--like steel. I didn't want to leave remembering her like that.

"This is a special case," I mumbled, grabbing a few things from the closet: a jacket, shirts, and a few pair of jeans. She moved in front of me to block my way.

"Everything is a god-damned 'special case' with you, Trowa." I slid around her, still refusing to look at her face. "Won't you even look at me?" she pleaded. I stopped for a moment, hesitant as I hung in the bedroom doorway.

"No. I can't." I moved into the living area and gave the room a quick once over. I didn't know how long I'd be gone, and I wouldn't be able to return home to collect what I'd forgotten. I turned. She was standing limply in the doorway, wearing one of my white dress shirts. Her face was red with oncoming tears, though none had yet to fall. Midii didn't cry well.

"I hate you."

She spat the words out as if they were poison to her lips; like if she didn't let them fly, arsenic would soon replace the blood in her veins.

Cathy's knives had missed their mark and lodged themselves in my heart. Midii's weapon of choice never was a sword or gun or mobile suit, but her wit and her tongue. Together, they could pierce even my unbreakable mask.

I cringed. "I'm sorry." It wasn't meant as an apology, per se. I was still going on the mission; I'd decided that the moment I'd seen the fear in Heero's eyes. I saw her body sink to the floor in the reflection of the windows. She was burying her face in her knees.

"Won't you at least tell me where you're going?" She dug her finger into her scalp as her shoulders shook. "Or maybe when you'll be back?" I looked at her finally, taking in every detail. She was trying so hard not to cry. Midii had always tried to be strong since I'd found her trapped in an underground POW camp last spring. But years of labor and torture had rooted themselves into her very being. She took a shower once in the morning, another in the evening, and always had to wear something white. But through all her trials, she was still only a lost little girl, wandering in the woods with no notion as to how far away home really was.

"I can't," I said finally, standing over her.

Her shoulders stopped, as did her muffled hiccups.

"Why do you do things like this to me?" I sat next to her, pulling her form closer to mine. "I don't understand you," she mumbled, voice flat. "One moment you can be so passive, quiet…withdrawn. Yet in the next," she looked up and her eyes locked with mine. "I look at you and I know you won't change your mind no matter what I say." The tears finally started to fall, and all I could do was hold her just a little tighter.

I buried my face in her hair, inhaling as deeply as I could. She smelled so clean, so pure. But I knew just as well as she did that appearances were more often than not deceiving. I knew her sullied past just as well as she knew mine. We shared secrets with one another that, if he didn't already know, we wouldn't have told God himself.

"I don't understand you," she repeated, leaning into my shoulder. There was a pause. "Do you remember officer Bunt?" I stared blankly at the wall, not at all unnerved by her sudden change in subject. How could anyone forget him? The twenty-something pedophile who used to watch us both with ravenous glances as we passed him each morning on the way to the food tent…the mercenary soldier who would sell out the very cause in which he was supposedly fighting for just to find some sweet toddler next to him in bed. We had been the only children in the mercenary camp back then. Midii still bore the scars from his advances.

"Yeah. I remember him." Midii sniffed and burrowed herself under my arm.

"You never really talked to me back then. You grunted, nodded, or just ignored me. You were always silent and submissive. But when he came after me-" She stopped, letting the memories come back to us as they would. The room was deathly still, but my mind had traversed time and settled back into the camp.

Back then, Bunt had had Midii pressed against his makeshift cot and was hovering over her as she flailed against him. She'd been screaming, but the rest of the soldiers were either scouting or in the food tent for dinner. No one had heard her except for me.

"You scared me, when you were like that," she whispered, pulling me back to the present. "I'd never seen you angry before. I didn't know you were capable of emotions until then."

Midii shivered next to my side, and for an instant I wanted nothing more than to stay and protect her from the inner demons and devils that tormented her. I'd never had much to protect in life. Granted, there was Cathy, and there was the home I'd created for myself at the circus. And of course, during the wars, there had been the colonies. But I'd always felt that protecting them had been more obligatory and born from my love of outer space.

Midii and I sat there for a while, doing nothing more than holding one another. She was clutching tightly to my arm like a child holding a balloon, afraid that a slight shift in the wind might steal it away.

The clock in the hallway clanged noisily, and she released her grasp. "I guess it's time for you to be going then," she mumbled. Her voice never wavered, but I could tell she was again on the brink of tears.

I stood and collected my things, slinging the bag over my shoulder. As I made my way out the door, I heard her muffled sobs behind me.

"Wait, Trowa!" She rushed toward me, leaning her forehead against my back and grabbing fistfuls of my shirt. I could see Heero's form down the hallway. He was waiting patiently, his face half-veiled in shadows.

"What is it, Midii?" I tried not to choke on my words; I tried to recall the cool demeanor I'd had before, the unshakeable resolved I'd always _seemed_ to have before I'd found her again.

"Promise you'll come back. Oh God, just promise me that much." I looked at the ceiling through my bangs.

"I promise. But please, promise me that you'll stop crying." I felt her nod and move away. It's amazing how far away someone can feel, even when they're still right next to you. I stepped out of the doorway and didn't look back. I was afraid that if I looked at her again, her tears would stop me. I'm just too weak that way. Heero nodded toward me as we walked down the corridor to the elevators.

"Are you going to be alright?" he asked, back to his usual, monotonous self.

"Yeah." The elevator chimed and opened.

I could taste my own salty tears.

It's funny. I don't remember crying.


End file.
